she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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