But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
