I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Congratulations! We have a period
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