why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
