instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i out mim tonsoeep
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