what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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