I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
