I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
