please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
