I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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