Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
