We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
