Apparently you make a good broom.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize