We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
