hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
