It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I will pee on everything he values.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
