Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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