Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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