im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
