just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just pee around me
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
