Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize