Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
