I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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