i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
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I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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