The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
