She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize