Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
