If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
