my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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