Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize