Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
