I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize