you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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