whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
