tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
