So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize