I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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