Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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