woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
