Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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