He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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