never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
