So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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