So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize