he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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