considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wish life had little blips of pornography
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize