so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
