Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
