can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
