come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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