He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
