Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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