Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
