I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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