guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
