I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
did you just send me my own nude
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
