Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
