tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Is it penis luge time yet?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
