my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
