First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
