4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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