i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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