her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
