don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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