Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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