All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
