I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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