kristin has been a bad kristin
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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