If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
