Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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