Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
