Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
