let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
bring money and cleavage
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
