I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize