What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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