but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
