I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
