Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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