Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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