I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
