there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
